Monday, March 19, 2007

Wait, What Do You Mean You’re Leaving?

While shopping the other day, I saw this great red futon and thought - photo opportunity.

So I set her down, whipped out the camera and started snapping pics. As I watched The Squeaker, I thought, “Wow, these are going to be great photos!”

After the shoot was over, I loaded her up and we went about our shopping day.


After downloading the images, I noticed she’s missing a sock (see it there? her right foot?).

I carried her around, setting her down and picking her up and I didn’t even notice the missing sock. Wow.

For the last 30 days or so, we’ve had family hanging around... holding the baby, cooking our meals, holding the baby, cleaning our house, holding the baby, buying our groceries, holding the baby, folding our laundry, holding the baby, changing the baby… basically keeping a pair of socks on the girl at all times.

But today, the last of the family splitski; they took a powder, blew this pop stand, caught the last train to Clarksville… no, wait; that’s a Monkees song.

Anyway, my mother caught a 7am flight back home this morning, leaving us to our own devices with a one month old.

A one month old.

What the hell is she thinking about?! I’d forget to feed the dog if he didn’t paw the food dish every time he was ready to eat. Fortunately, I think P.Pie can remember to feed her…what with all the leaking.

But still.

Well I guess I’ve got’em bamboozled; hell, some people even complement me on my parenting skills.

Suckers.

My favorite type of comment goes something like this – “Oh, look! You (insert baby daddy duty here) so well! You are a great father!”

Uhm. I’m really just doing my job. I’d like to say, “Perhaps you should tell your baby’s father what being a daddy is supposed to be.”

But it comes out, “She’s a great girl, she’s just making me look good.”

Hmmm. Maybe there’s a lot of truth in that.

Of course, neither she nor I noticed the missing sock.