Santa and the Mob

P.Pie & I went and had brunch at a restaurant located on Larimer Square (it’s not really a square) in lower downtown Denver. [ed. note: If you live in Colorado, you have to go there – it’s great]

The restaurant is tucked off the main street, in small, quiet alley. The Larimer Square Group (the folks who manage all the properties on the street) decided to set up a large Santaland in the entryway of the alley (the kind of display with a real live fake Kris Kringle where you can get your kids picture taken).

As you might imagine, the display completely blocked any possibility of getting to the restaurant. After an extended discussion with LSG management, it was decided they would move the display further back into the alley, actually onto the restaurant’s dining patio (not generally in use during winter).

So, P.Pie & I show up for brunch and were seated at a small table looking onto the empty Santaland display. As we dined, an elf arrived, in full elf regalia, to set up the display.

The only thing is, the person playing the elf looked like he’d fit better playing a part in mobsterland.

He was a short, squat fellow with a face that had seen the sun more times than not. His nose was a flat angry expanse that leaned to the left. And what little of his hair that could be seen from under his elf hat, behind the faux-Spock ears was grayish white.

He looked 50ish, but was more likely 40ish.

Replace the jolly green and red suit elf suit with a black Armani and he would fit well into any Mafioso picture.

I tried to get my picture with him – always thinking of the blog – but the fee was more than I was willing to pay. I told the Santa on duty that the picture could my present from him this year. He wasn’t biting (who knew the North Pole was so capitalistic?).

But take my word for it, the guy looked like he belonged in the mob.

Now that I think about it, made he was in the witness relocation problem. I mean, c’mon, did anyone see Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead?