Monday, March 12, 2007

New Baby Alarm System

There has been much ado about the baby that was stolen in Lubbock.

Even though the baby was tagged, ID’ed, and numbered (and almost ready to be released into the wild), the psychotic nutjob woman still managed to get baby out of the hospital.

So how did that happen?

I’ll tell you how.

It’s those new baby alarm systems; they aren’t worth a tinker’s damn. We were still in the hospital when Jorja’s alarm system fell off.

Okay, the idea of a baby alarm system is great; particularly the one at Jorja & Doss’s hospital. Their alarm system notifies the hospital staff of a baby’s every move. And if the alarmed baby (a baby with an alarm system, not a freaked out baby) is taken into the elevators? The elevators shut down.

It’s great in theory, but in practice…

Look, I handed Jorja to P.Pie, P.Pie unwrapped her and snuggled Jorja up for a feeding. When P.Pie pulled her away, the alarm – along with the dried up piece of umbilicus – landed on the bed.

The device meant to keep my children on the same floor as their mother fell off.

What the hell?!?

I took the alarm unit to the nursing station and voiced my displeasure; I mean, come on - a brand new baby (not even off the ‘lot’ yet!) and a dealer add-on part just falls off?

The nurse said it was ‘normal’; they expected it fall off!

Normally, I’d ask for a refund, or at least a discount… but I’d taken a bit of shine to the girl, so I decided to keep her as-is.

I’m pretty sure the baby girl unit will last longer than aftermarket add-ons; after all, I know the factory.