Monday, March 12, 2007

New Baby Alarm System

There has been much ado about the baby that was stolen in Lubbock.

Even though the baby was tagged, ID’ed, and numbered (and almost ready to be released into the wild), the psychotic nutjob woman still managed to get baby out of the hospital.

So how did that happen?

I’ll tell you how.

It’s those new baby alarm systems; they aren’t worth a tinker’s damn. We were still in the hospital when Jorja’s alarm system fell off.

Okay, the idea of a baby alarm system is great; particularly the one at Jorja & Doss’s hospital. Their alarm system notifies the hospital staff of a baby’s every move. And if the alarmed baby (a baby with an alarm system, not a freaked out baby) is taken into the elevators? The elevators shut down.

It’s great in theory, but in practice…

Look, I handed Jorja to P.Pie, P.Pie unwrapped her and snuggled Jorja up for a feeding. When P.Pie pulled her away, the alarm – along with the dried up piece of umbilicus – landed on the bed.

The device meant to keep my children on the same floor as their mother fell off.

What the hell?!?

I took the alarm unit to the nursing station and voiced my displeasure; I mean, come on - a brand new baby (not even off the ‘lot’ yet!) and a dealer add-on part just falls off?

The nurse said it was ‘normal’; they expected it fall off!

Normally, I’d ask for a refund, or at least a discount… but I’d taken a bit of shine to the girl, so I decided to keep her as-is.

I’m pretty sure the baby girl unit will last longer than aftermarket add-ons; after all, I know the factory.


Blogger MB said...

When I was in the hospital last December we had the worst room on the ward - right next to the exit doors. The baby couldn't go in 2/3 of the room or we would set off the alarm. I very easily slipped off the band for awhile, then after setting off the "pink alert" for the 7th time, they finally put me in a new room.

3/12/2007 10:24 PM  
Anonymous Kaz said...

Before you know it, she'll be ASKING for after-market add-ons, in the form of earrings, noserings, bellyrings, tattoos, etc.

3/13/2007 4:28 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

The alarm on our second born didn't fall off, but it was faulty to the point of seriously pissing off my postpartum self. Every time we moved her, the nurses would come running, and I'd be like, "It's the goddam alarm, goddam it!"

3/13/2007 5:45 AM  
Blogger radioactive girl said...

Our kids had little ankle bracelet alarm things that fell off too. Every time I would hand a baby back to the nurse, the nurse would freak out that it wasn't there, at which point I would slide it back on and she would seem to feel ok with the situation. I made my husband follow the baby and watch it because I was so paranoid that something would happen because the alarm wasn't actually attached.

3/13/2007 6:20 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

Our hospital had ankle bracelets in the normal the NICU where we were they had nothing b/c with all the tubes etc I think those babies were hard to steal.

I remember visiting the NICU for a long time and would often arrive and the hospital would be on lockdown and i couldn't get in ro out...often b/c some dad decided to take his child on a tour of the hospital. HA

3/13/2007 7:31 AM  
Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

Gage's fell off too.
...but, every single time Gage left the room w/ a nurse, my husband was right there with them.
He was there for the bath, circumcision, etc.

3/13/2007 7:57 AM  
Anonymous Gidge said...

The one they used on my oldest boy went around his foot.
He fussed and fussed and was a pretty inconsolable baby the whole three days in the hospital.
Until they took it off.
And it was on too tight and the metal piece had cut about 1/16th down into his ankle, leaving a huge gash.
He is 4 1.2 and still has a scar.

I guess they weren't intending to let THAT sucker fall off.

3/13/2007 9:01 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Hell, the hospitals where my girls were born do not even have alarm systems. And I live in a big city! All they do is verify that your tag matches the one on the baby. The nurses have I.D. badges, but, how the hell am I gonna know if they are real or not?

3/13/2007 9:54 AM  
Anonymous picasso said...

Being that i work at a hospital, i guess i'll voice the other side. Would you perfer that hospitals did not have a child alert system? In the facility i work at when the alarm occurs we have a plan of action for every employee in the hospital. Plant Operations, which is where i work, coordinates a lock down of the hospital and all employees cover every exit, stairwell and corridor in the building. When an alarm occurs i can honestly tell you there is not one person in building who is upset about a false alarm. The system at times may be over sensitive and set the alarm off when nothing is wrong or a baby gets too close to an elevator, but wouldn't you perfer to know that it's operational and doing its job. With a new baby on the horizon (5 weeks away), i'm thankful knowing these systems are provided by hospitals.

3/13/2007 1:30 PM  
Blogger Rob Barron said...

Hey, I wasn't complaining...

3/13/2007 1:33 PM  
Anonymous momto3cubs said...

Wow, I'm pretty sure my 7 yr old could design a better system than that.

3/13/2007 5:37 PM  
Blogger Archana said...

Rob - are you being sarcastic? When I read your post it sounded snarky and complaining to me.. Poor Picasso he does have a point. :)

I will take whatever system is in place but I wont be complacent. I would have probably told a nurse or the entire hospital administration my POV if it didnt work the way it was supposed to (just like you did Rob!)

3/13/2007 10:01 PM  
Blogger Rob Barron said...

Humorous. I was trying to be humorous, not snarky & complaining.

I was attempting to draw a mildly amusing comparison to new cars and new babies.

Obviously it was a bit of a failure.

3/13/2007 10:11 PM  
Blogger Sandie said...

Rob: I found it quite amusing! No system is perfect, and it didn't sound like you were angry with the hospital for it. Sometimes dripping sarcasm is hard to hear in the written word.

BTW, how long after she was born did this happen? Usually the bit of umbilical cord takes 7 to 14 days to fall off. That's why hospitals use it as a handy place to keep the alarm. They did that with my kids, too.

3/16/2007 11:32 AM  

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