Monday, March 05, 2007

Thank You

As I said at the beginning of this journey, I am surprised that I have not yet cried myself dry.

And that was true for today as well, but with one exception – we managed to cry a few tears of joy.

Your heartfelt thoughts and wishes truly made our journey a little easier. An enormous thanks to everyone.

Many of your comments started with ‘You don’t know me, but…”. Anyone who thought of, or said a prayer for, our Doss is not a stranger.

You are all friends; and dear ones at that.

Today we started the search for a funeral home. After the first call, we realized we didn’t have a ‘plan’. That is, we didn’t really know what we wanted; burial or cremation, public or private; etc, etc.

So we backed up a step and discussed what, exactly, we want for Doss.

Well, that is a good question; I won’t bore you with the blow-by-blow description of the conversation. The outcome is basically this – we wanted a public ceremony (many, many friends would like to pay their respects) as well as cremation (to keep him near).

The first part, about the ceremony, is pretty self-explanatory. But I should say a few words about the cremation part.

The short of it is that while we’ve lived in The Mile High City for six years, we may not live here forever. And with that in mind, I can’t imagine not being able to visit my boy whenever I wanted.

So with the decision made, we called another mortuary. They seemed to be amenable enough, so we went to meet them in person.

Let me just say this about that – it’s a lot like shopping for a new car; there are a limited number of places you can go and they know it. And then there’s the salesman.

Anyway, we decided on that place for the cremation.

Tomorrow, we talk to the church.

And finally, some folks have asked about Jorja. Not to worry, we are giving her lots of love. Here’s a couple of photoshoot snapshots.













39 Comments:

Blogger Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad said...

Rob, I haven't commented yet. I'm so so sorry. Our love to P.Pie and Jorja too. She's a beautiful girl. Take care of yourselves.

3/05/2007 9:17 PM  
Anonymous momto3cubs said...

My heart is breaking for you. I stopped by here to get a Doss update, and just saw the news of his passing. I wanted to scream, "NO!" I'm so sorry for your loss. Nothing I can say will make things better, but know that I am thinking of you and praying for you all. He is at peace now and in heaven, I believe. He's watching over all of you. We can't possibly understand why he had to leave, but I do believe that God is in control and He doesn't make mistakes and somehow this is all part of His plan for all of us.

I'm so sorry you are suffering such a terrible loss. I'm glad you shared Doss with us. I won't forget him.

3/05/2007 9:50 PM  
Anonymous Jan said...

She is a doll- I'm pretty sure I saw her angel brother in the pictures, hovering, watching over her....

3/05/2007 9:57 PM  
Anonymous Jan said...

She is a doll- I'm pretty sure I saw her angel brother in the pictures, hovering, watching over her....

3/05/2007 9:59 PM  
Blogger jennifer starfall said...

she is beautiful.

i'm so sorry about doss. you're in my thoughts...

radioactive girl sent me

3/05/2007 10:48 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

Rob -

I know another mom who lost one of her twins shortly after birth. They had their daughter cremated and keep her in her twin's room - to look over her. (http://lizmccarthy.blogspot.com/). I think it is a touching tribute.

May you guys have some peace during this difficult time. You are in our prayers.

Jorja is absolutely beautiful.

3/06/2007 4:10 AM  
Anonymous Leigh said...

Just a lurker that stumbled across your path. I am truly sorry for the loss of Doss, but rejoice in the life of Jorja. Many prayers and thoughts are sent your way in the days ahead.

Leigh
Knox,TN

3/06/2007 6:06 AM  
Blogger radioactive girl said...

She is beautiful. It must be nice to have a little someone to bring a little joy to this very sad time in your life. I'll continue to keep your family in my thoughts/prayers.

3/06/2007 7:00 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

I am so glad you are hanging in there...you sound so strong. I think you are making a great decision to have sweet Doss with you in case you do move away.
Prayers prayers & huggs!!!

3/06/2007 7:57 AM  
Blogger Jules said...

ALSO, sweet Jorga is beautiful...looking forward to more photoshoots of her sweet face!!

3/06/2007 7:58 AM  
Blogger Elle said...

My heart breaks for your family at the loss of precious Doss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this most tragic of times.

I hope that the joy of Jorja has eased your sorrow a bit, but I know nothing can fill that hole completely. She's absolutley beautiful and will be the light of your lives.

3/06/2007 8:11 AM  
Blogger Michael Lautman said...

To the whole Barron family,
I weep for you.
I weep with you.
I smile
At the sight of your lovely little girl.
At the love you have shown.
At the love you have been shown.

You are incredibly brave.
My sincere condolences.

Michael (The Philosopher Dad)

3/06/2007 8:22 AM  
Anonymous Scott said...

Dear Rob,

I am another lurker directed here by I Hate Snaps. I first want to say how very sorry I am for your loss. As a new father, I cannot imagine the complexity of your grief. Perhaps I can offer a different perspective -similar to Jorja's. I lost my twin when we were about three months old.

I have always known it, and I think this helped to shape me into the man I am. I always thought of myself as a twin, and that a part of me was missing -like Peter Pan's shadow. Also, my parents always reassured me that because I am a twin, I am a member of a small, special group. Through every change in my understanding of the universe -no matter how cynical or skeptical- I have always felt that Matthew was here with me, and that I am responsible for living this life for both of us.

Don't get me wrong: I would rather he had survived. In a way, though, I really feel he is still a great gift to me.

Take care of each other,

Scott
New Orleans, LA

3/06/2007 8:34 AM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

I am so sorry to hear about Doss. I've only stumbled upon your blog briefly in the past and came here via LA Daddy's post. Please know that people all around - even us here in the September household - are praying for your family and grieving the loss of your baby boy. I wish there were something we could do to help more than this, but we're always here if you ever need us. I know that goes for many, many people, especially your close friends and family. Take care of each other while you're going through this difficult time.

We'll still be thinking of and praying for you over here.

with love and best wishes,
Sarah

3/06/2007 9:10 AM  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

She is truly beautiful. Congratulations and may she bring you many, many years of laughter, joy and frustration....

God Speed Doss, and sweet dreams.

3/06/2007 9:28 AM  
Blogger honglien123 said...

What a great idea to have Doss close by. My dad has on our family altar names of siblings he never knew who died before he was born. I never knew the point of it until very recently, they are a part of his family and a part of his being. Just as Doss will be to Jorja.

I am in awe of your strength in this time.

3/06/2007 9:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been crying for you since yesterday. Thank-you for sharing your happiness and your sadness so honestly - you are truly amazing. Your little girl is lucky to have such a great daddy.

3/06/2007 10:19 AM  
Blogger G said...

my heart just breaks for you and your family, i love that you are going to be keeping Doss with you, i hope that having him near you will bring you some sense of peace

Jorga is just gorgeous, and she's got such a full head of hair.

3/06/2007 10:28 AM  
Blogger Cass said...

I am so incredibly sorry. There are just no words.

Thinking of you and holding all of you in my thoughts.

3/06/2007 11:00 AM  
Anonymous Elizabeth said...

I came here from Live from the Wang of America to offer you and your family my sincerest condolences. Your daughter is beautiful, as was your sweet boy.

3/06/2007 12:54 PM  
Blogger Kate said...

You don't know me, and I've never read your blog before, but was directed here by LA Daddy. So sorry to hear about your loss, because even though I don't know you and haven't shared your story over the course of these months, it's always sad news to hear about the loss of a child.

Hang in there. (((Hugs)))

3/06/2007 1:00 PM  
Blogger EJW said...

I'm amazed by your strength and resilience. Taking care of a newborn and dealing with the loss of a child are both such huge and difficult tasks, physically and emotionally, and you're doing both simultaneously.

I hope all the best for your family.

3/06/2007 1:23 PM  
Blogger Her Bad Mother said...

She's gorgeous.

All our best wishes, again.

3/06/2007 2:11 PM  
Blogger Steph said...

I couldn't comment before, the word verification was not working. I'm one of those-you don't know me, but...people-I just wanted you to know that your family is in my prayers.a

3/06/2007 3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yet another addition to the "you don't know me" list... I've been following your beautiful family for a while now. I cannot imagine the heartbreak that has been visited upon you.

Last night I had a dream- Jorja was older, and making a decision of some sort, and Doss somehow guided her. He'll always be with you all.

3/06/2007 4:53 PM  
Blogger creative-type dad said...

What a little beauty--

3/06/2007 5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To feel 2 such overwhelming, yet opposite emotions, at the very same time...I cannot begin to imagine how that must feel, or how to express how very sorry I am for your loss. You have 2 beautiful children...the one that you hold in your hands and the one that you hold in your hearts. Peace to your sweet family.

Sara

3/06/2007 7:20 PM  
Blogger Haley-O said...

She's beautiful.

I am so so sorry for your loss of your beautiful Doss....So unspeakably sorry.

3/06/2007 9:54 PM  
Blogger Lady M said...

Here via HBM's place. Sending much love to you and your wife for your beautiful daughter, and just as much love to comfort you for the loss of your son.

3/06/2007 10:51 PM  
Anonymous Becky said...

You don't know me from a hole in the ground, but I wanted to express how deeply sorry I am for your loss.

I will be thinking of you all.

3/07/2007 10:03 AM  
Blogger movin'mom said...

I am here via LA Daddy's site.

My heart is aching for your loss, even for the loss of Jorja. I have always heard what a connection twins have. I know he probably had not acquired a tremendous amount of clothing yet but Might I suggest, keeping as much of Doss' clothing blankets quilts etc....and creating a quilt to keep for Jorja. so that she will always have a part of him with her. I think that it is pretty common to donate things like that, especially when you have so much on your mind. But my children lost an uncle when they were 2 & 3 years old and their aunt had angel dolls and quilts made for them out of his clothing. My sons are now 14 & 15 and they still keep both on their beds.

3/07/2007 10:15 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

I am unbelievably sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you're feeling, but I hope it helps knowing how many people are thinking of you and your beautiful family.

3/07/2007 6:00 PM  
Blogger tiffany said...

she has a very wise look...
i feel like there's an old soul staring out of those eyes.

you guys are in my thoughts, for what it's worth.

3/07/2007 7:54 PM  
Blogger Mitch McDad said...

Rob,
I'm truly heartbroken at the news. My very deepest condolences to the three of you.

Parenthood, as you now know, affects you in ways that you can never imagine. For me right now, I feel true pain for your loss, a pain that pre-parenthood I would not have know.

I wish you all as much peace as you can possibly experience and I hope your pain is assuaged by the love of your beautiful little girl.

3/07/2007 8:38 PM  
Blogger Bon said...

she's a beauty, with wise eyes.

just wanted to say, again, that you're on my mind.

like you, we chose cremation. we've settled for now, and planted trees in our backyard with a few of Finn's ashes in among their roots...but the rest stay in their small urn by our bedside. i don't see it as much as i used to...but it comforts me to be able to reach out and pat it.

peace to you all.

3/08/2007 12:05 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Oh my, how very sad for all. My thoughts and prayers will be with all.

3/08/2007 10:20 PM  
Blogger Lady Liberal said...

Sweet angel Doss... I've talked to my girl, Cecilia, who went ahead of you in May. She said to come on in, the playground in heaven is awesome and she'll show you around.

To Rob... and your bride... I know. Unfortunately, I know. Hang in there. As you might have already guessed, it will never be entirely ok. But it gets better, I promise. And Jorja is a beautiful tribute to Doss's soul.

Much love across the many miles to you both!

3/30/2007 2:54 PM  
Blogger pipsylou said...

I just found your blog. My daughter is 2, and her twin passed away. I find great comfort in your words. I gave birth to her little brother 4 months ago. Keep on keeping on!!!!!! I love the name of the blog - I think you should keep it - honoring Doss (great names, by the way!).
Rachel
pipsylou.typepad.com

5/25/2007 6:40 PM  
Blogger pipsylou said...

I don't think I left my blog...
pipsylou.typepad.com
Rachel (the blogger blog is just pictures)

5/25/2007 6:42 PM  

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