Tell It to Me Straight, Doc
First, a big thanks to everyone for thinking good thoughts about Doss; he is still in the NICU but his glucose levels have stabilized. He’s got a ways to go, but we think he’s on the right path.From the fertility specialists to hospital doctors, we have see a steady stream of medical personal since we started this exciting journey and they all have opinions about pregnancy, health and recovery.
And many opinions seem contradictory.
A doctor is a lot like your local auto mechanic; he has specialty training and knows a lot about your internal combustion engine. But he doesn’t know everything. What looks like a spark problem to one mechanic may look like a fuel problem to another.
The NICU
I am a straight-forward, don’t-sugarcoat-it kinda guy. That doesn’t mean I want you to be brutal, I just want the truth.
All but one of the docs wants to blow sunshine up my ass about my boy. Well, that’s not fair. It’s not that they’re all trying to sell me blue skies and green pastures, they’re just not telling me the whole story.
That is, until this morning. The new neo-natologist (neo neo-natologist?) told me exactly what was going on; he didn’t sugarcoat it, he didn’t editorialize, he just laid it out as it is.
It was refreshing. It was exactly what I was looking for.
Now what do I do?
My editorialization of the information goes like this – he’s a little guy who had some serious, unrealized/unrecognized in-utero stress prior to birth. This stress caused a serious case of acidosis, which has had an effect on many major organs.
It seems that the best medicine – the only medicine, really – is time. We just have to wait for him to put on weight and for his vital organs to function as they should.
Of course what I really want are some guarantees. I want the guarantee that my boy will be okay. I want the guarantee that there will be no long term ill-effects from his size or the acidosis and its ilk of problems.
I want my boy.
[ed. note: contrary to my complaining, Doss is doing better, if ever so slightly. As I said, his blood sugar level is now normal. A journey of a 1000 miles begins with the first step.]
posted by Rob Barron at 6:02 PM
12 Comments:
Congratulations to you and P.Pie for your beautiful babies Rob! I know it's hard not to worry when your baby is in the NICU but don't forget to support your wife and your baby girl as well as take care of yourself.
My nephew was born at 27 weeks by emergency c-section. He was 1lb. 11oz. and I was there to translate for my sister. He spent nearly 4 months in the NICU, but he made it with only minor problems that should be gone by adulthood. Even though it was just my nephew, I remember feeling so helpless and so afraid of what might happen. We just had to keep telling ourselves that they do amazing things in medicine these days and that our doctors are very capable.
Good luck to you and your family. Don't forget to take care of each other as well as your babies.
My continued thoughts are with you and your family. I can't even imagine what you guys are going through, but I'm sure it won't be long before you're all home together.
The NICU is a scary place. The problem seems to be that no one really knows exactly what is going to happen, they can all just give educated guesses and at the same time try no to traumatize the parents.
I am sending good vibes your way.
Northwest, right?
Oh my GOODNESS! Those are some beautiful chilluns! You done cooked 'em right. Congratufreakinlations to you both - so many good thoughts and prayers going out to my favorite new doubled family. Much love!
I've been on the NICU rollercoaster, and I totally get what you're saying. The docs and nurses? I loved them. I hated them. I wanted to hug them. I wanted to beat the crap out of them. It's a rough ride. I'm here if you need to vent, scream, cry or ask questions.
I was fortunate enough to never have experienced the NICU but two people I love very much, Becky and Sarah, went through it and I know it's terribly nerve-wracking on a good day.
I'm glad you found a doctor who will communicate with you - keep the communication going - it will help during this time of stress.
My heart is with you and your sweet babies! Wishing you all the best.
Rob,
First of all congratulations and our thoughts and prayers are with you & P. Pie. Your Open Letter made em tear. Those first minutes/hours in the hospital are loaded with emotions during perfect circumstances. And with the stress of watching Doss fight his battle, I can only imagine how your emotions must be.
The kids are beautiful. Jorja being 6-9, holy crap....Denver babies are supposed to be small.
All the best. Welcome to Daddy-hood. I'll keep reading.
hang in there...as they always say in the NICU, and you will probably hear this "one step forward, two steps back"...something great happens then something doesn't go as you want...this usually the life of a NICU baby. He will grow and get better, he just needs time!! and LOVE and his warm isolette. :)
You all are very strong and so is sweet Doss
My cousins had twins that were born early and light and spent more time than they wanted in the NICU. Force the doctors to explain everything until you are happy with the explanation.
Take care of all of your new family.
We'll be happy to hear when you are all home.
Sounds scary, take good care of each other and yourself!
I don't know you, but found your blog awhile ago and have been following your journey.
My twin boys were born at 32 weeks and spent 4 weeks in NICU. They were 3lbs 10oz and 3lbs 13oz when they were born. My second born spent four days on CPAP due to breathing issues.
They are now 16 weeks old and growing like weeds.
I know your pain and trauma, as someone else said there will be ups and downs. Hopefully you will find a few good nurses and they will explain things for you. They did for us and most of the time we felt we knew what was going on.
You and your wife are in my thoughts.
Congratulations on your lil ones!!
My daughter was born at 33w and weighed 1864 grams, or 4 lbs 1 oz.
That feeling of wanting to know? That wish for a guarantee...it is normal in the NICU...
I will have you all in my thoughts.
I know leaving without him will be difficult, and I'm so very sorry. I had to leave my daughter behind too. Nothing is harder, no matter how sick they are, it still hurts.
Hugs to you and P.Pie
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