Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Previous Post Follow Up

Many of you sent me congrats on the knowledge that at least one of my twins will be a girl.

Thanks for that.

Some of you said it was fortunate that both the twins aren’t boys.

I appreciate that as well.

Still others intimated that boys do a lot of dumb things.

Okay, well yeah. That is true. Thanks.

And if it is also true that male offspring deliver tenfold the trouble that you caused as a youth, then I am in for a world of hurt. [Ed. Note: should I put an attorney on retainer now?]

But the thing is, I’ve never had a girl (stop, you know what I mean). I’m not sure how to handle that.

I mean, if it were all boys, I’d be set; I’ve got a 500 gig hard drive filled with fart jokes. My maturity growth stopped when I was 11 or 12, tops. And I often regress to 8 or 9. I think girls are born with a maturity level of a teenager, at least.

I could just be myself (after all, I’ve got years of practice at it) but then I might wind up with a daughter like Marla Hooch in A League of Their Own.

To hell with it. I’m going to let P.Pie keep me on the straight and narrow parenting path.

Except when it comes to dating. I'm not a big guy, but I know a lot of bruisers. So watch out, boys; I know what you're thinking. Believe it or not, I was once your age and had the same thoughts.