The Art of the Put Down

Yo mamma is so fat… no wait… not a put down, but the lay down, as in laying a sleeping baby in her crib.

Any parent will tell you, there is a skill in moving a sleeping babe from arms to crib, without waking said infant (any child really).

Unfortunately, P.Pie hasn’t quite mastered the trick yet.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s skilled at getting The Squeaker (TS) to sleep; whether it’s through a gentle rock and soft hum, or a quiet feeding; like a prize fighter with a massive right hook, she can really knock her out.

Getting her to stay asleep, well, that’s a different matter.

In the last week or two, I had noticed that P.Pie was having to pick The Squeaker up and put her down a few times in order to get her to stay asleep.

During last Saturday night’s exciting evening, P.Pie has barely laid TS down and she had already started squeaking. [ed. note: our weekends generally consist of videos from Blockbuster, in bed at 9, asleep no later than 10:30]

Trying to be helpful, I picked her up, worked my magic, laid her back down and she was out until the next feeding. A little perturbed, P.Pie asked me what she was doing wrong.

As I said, it’s a trick. Sort of. It’s also a little bit of planning. If getting her to sleep is the end goal of holding her, I give her the burrito wrap in advance. Sure, she’s a little upset at first, but she gets over it pretty quickly and falls asleep that much faster.

If she falls asleep in my arms unswaddled, I carefully carry her to the bedroom, layout the swaddling blanket, wrap up quick as a line worker in a Mexican fast food joint at lunch rush and (here’s the trick) pick her up, holding her again until the heavier sleep overcomes her again. Then I lay her back down.

It sounds simple because it is. Given enough time, P.Pie would have figured it out on her own. But because she just couldn’t wait, I now get to hold that over her head.

Of course, if I get to full of myself, she trumps all of my ‘look what I can do’ cards by simply pointing to The Squeaker.