The Class
By now, you should all realize that I have no class.
Except for the Multiple Birth class.
I am just now getting home from it and I still need to dismantle my closet and bathroom because the contractors are coming tomorrow to demolish both and create a large bathroom with a shower. Woo-hoo! (About the bathroom, not the dismantling part.)
I am really beat, so this post will be short.
Let me just say that my wife, whom I love very much, thought the class was a one night thing.
It's not.
In fact, it is every Wednesday, from 6:30 – 9 for the rest of the month.
In the southern part of town.
So I leave work, drive across town, spent three hours in a small room, drive back across town, pick up my dog from Picasso and The VP's house, and get home around 10. Ish.
I sure hope the class teaches me something.
One last thing – the teacher of said class gave everyone three sticky notes with the words 'Want to know,' 'Need to know,' & 'Like to know,' across the top of each one.
She wanted questions about pregnancy that we wanted answered written on these pages.
I wanted to write questions like, "How do I contact the baby black market for potential sales?"
OR
"What is the best porn for expectant fathers when the doc says no more sex?"
OR
"What can new parents expect to charge for renting their children?"
But P.Pie said they were inappropriate questions.
Of course they were; that's what made them funny.
I sure hope the class teaches me something.
One last thing – the teacher of said class gave everyone three sticky notes with the words 'Want to know,' 'Need to know,' & 'Like to know,' across the top of each one.
She wanted questions about pregnancy that we wanted answered written on these pages.
I wanted to write questions like, "How do I contact the baby black market for potential sales?"
OR
"What is the best porn for expectant fathers when the doc says no more sex?"
OR
"What can new parents expect to charge for renting their children?"
But P.Pie said they were inappropriate questions.
Of course they were; that's what made them funny.
2 Comments:
I can make this really easy for you two.
What you need to know:
Do whatever works. Whatever keeps both children alive and healthy and allows the parents to sleep at least three hours a night (you thinkg I'm kidding about three?) for the first three months. Don't kill each other or the babies and don't get divorced. It gets a lot easier after that. I swear.
What hospital? Littleton??
Good luck with twins! I can't even imagine.
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