Tuesday, July 31, 2007

And The Worst New Father Award Goes To…

Okay, maybe I’m not the worst new dad; after all, a simple search for ‘toddler’ or ‘infant’ on news.google.com yields a plethora of fathers WAY ahead of me in the Worst Father polls.

But at the time, it didn’t feel way.

Let me just say that I have been cutting my fingernails and toenails for decades. In a pinch, I’ll even cut the dog’s nails. So, disillusioned me, I thought cutting Squeak’s nails would be no big deal.

Wrong.

First, the kiddie nail clippers… they put them in these oversized plastic grip thingies to make you think they’re smaller. But don’t be fooled! They are just about normal sized; they’re big enough to cut my nails.

Second, could her nails be any smaller?!?

Third, watch out! When fingernail clippers are new, they are sharp.

Fourth, every pair of baby nail clippers needs to come with a jeweler’s loupe so you can better manage the teeny, tiny baby nails.

Finally, while there wasn’t a piece of hanging skin, an over-clipped end section of nail or even a speck of blood… the way she wailed, you’d think I’d lopped off her entire finger.

The look in her eyes told me I’d broken a bond of trust with her that, like Humpty Dumpty, could never be put back together again.

I guess it could be worse; I could be the person that has to give The Squeaker her shots.

12 Comments:

Blogger Matthew said...

I know your pain. I will never forget the moment I cut TheMonk's nails and he was so trusting. And then I ended up cutting him and the shocked look he gave me was one that I hope never to see again.

Now, I wait to cut the nails until they are damn long.

7/31/2007 10:33 PM  
Anonymous L.A. Daddy said...

I tried once. I will never do it again. I am not the one to cut the nails. The one time I tried, I drew blood. LA Mommy doesn't even ask me to do it anymore.

Brrr...

8/01/2007 11:25 AM  
Blogger Nichmo said...

My mom always used to use her teeth on my little sister's nails. She said that the nail clippers were too scary. Plus, you can tell for sure if you are chewing on nail or finger.

8/01/2007 11:48 AM  
Blogger Kila said...

Don't feel bad, it happens easily. I'm sure you were more traumatized than she was!

When my kids were than little, I would just file their nails with a nail file. I don't think I was ever brave enough to use clippers.

8/01/2007 11:07 PM  
Blogger The Holmes said...

I can totally relate. The first time I tried to cut my son's nails, I drew blood on the very first one. I felt awful, but have since redeemed myself.

8/02/2007 12:15 PM  
Blogger creative-type dad said...

I didn't EVEN attempt it.

Somehow I had visions of cutting my daughter's fingers off accidentally with those things..

8/02/2007 2:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I always cut their nails while they were napping.....keeps everyone happy!

joanie

8/03/2007 7:16 AM  
Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

I was soooooooooo scared about cutting Gage's nails when he was so little....

Now...he's almost 2. Let me tell you---it was easier to cut Gage's nails when he was the Squeaker's age....now, it seems to be as hard as calf roping. And then...once you've caught him....you can only clip 2-3 nails before he's off & running again. So...it usually takes us about a week to get all 10 fingernails & all 10 toenails.

Sorry to break it to ya.... but enjoy it now...it gets harder!

8/04/2007 1:59 PM  
Blogger Stay At Home Day, Geek Style said...

Cutting Alex's nails scares the hell out of me. We've had our share of encounters with the red stuff no parents want to see, and it only seems to get more difficult as she becomes more mobile. I'm going to try to each her to do it on her own, or get her a nail file. ;)

DevDad

8/05/2007 12:35 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Awwww...she'll forgive you...eventually :)

I've never had a clipper incident but I did zip my sons toe up in a sleeper once. He still has the scar...which he reminds me...often.

8/05/2007 9:16 PM  
Blogger Mitch McDad said...

Thus the reason I never touch the kiddie clippers. Welcome to the finger snipper's club.

8/08/2007 1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just found your blog.... :)

I've had three kids and am presently pregnant with twins.

I have cut a few nails. I used to have to cut my nephew's nails, too, because my sister was too chicken to do it, AND if I cut him, she wouldn't be the "bad guy." It's easiest when they are sleeping. We used to keep nail clippers in the car -- moving car = sleeping kids.... Also, a little hint that I learned? Use the nail clippers upside-down. That way, you can SEE where you're cutting. It worked for me.

I read about your loss with the twin. I am so sorry. That most certainly sucked. I am happy to know that you have your little Squeaker! She's beautiful!

Alli

8/11/2007 4:46 PM  

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