An Open Letter to My Son
Axe –
Shortly after you were born I was showing off pictures of you and your sister, which lead to a discussion of siblings close in age and then to a discussion of your brother, Doss.
In short, she said that you were your brother, coming around again. And while she meant well, I think that sells you short. You are your own person. You are special in your own right and I will never, ever think of you as your brother.
Let me give you a few examples:
Unlike your sister, you like to have a one-man party between 2-4am. You wake up, eat, and then coo and giggle and squirm. I don’t really mind the one-man parties, except I have to chaperone…
Two weeks ago, around your five-month birthday, you got your first teeth! The Squeaker didn’t get her first teeth until 10 months.
You giggle. A lot.
You like to sleep in our bed; your sister’s not a big fan. In fact, you have a habit that your mother has – when you sleep next to me, you get as close as you can. So I scoot over. And you scoot over. And we keep doing this until half of me is hanging off the edge of the bed and you are pressed up against me on the other side.
There are many more, but that’s not the reason for this letter.
At some point in your life, probably some where between the years of 16-18, you are going to say, “I am not related to these people…”
I am here to tell you – you are.
And if there is any question, the photos below should dispel it. The first photo is you at about four months… the second is me at three months.
Starting to notice some resemblances?
Even though you carry the visual stamp of your forefathers, we are not rubberstamps of the other. Just because I succeed or fail at something does not mean you will do the same. Or that you even have to do the same things.
You have a long journey in front of you and it will be filled with up and downs. I am going to try to be there to hold your hand as long as I can.
But, far sooner than I care for, you will have to walk down your own road, either by preference or by necessity. When that time comes, I hope our time together will help you make the right choices.
In the meantime, we’re gonna play games, go places, and do things, all in the name of fun.
And let me pass on one piece of advice… be nice to your sister. I know that right now she’s a little rough on you, but she means well. Very, very soon you are going to out size her (as I write this, you’re and she are both wearing size three diapers!) and you will be able to push her down. But don’t. It only comes back to haunt you.
I Love You,
Your Dad
Shortly after you were born I was showing off pictures of you and your sister, which lead to a discussion of siblings close in age and then to a discussion of your brother, Doss.
In short, she said that you were your brother, coming around again. And while she meant well, I think that sells you short. You are your own person. You are special in your own right and I will never, ever think of you as your brother.
Let me give you a few examples:
Unlike your sister, you like to have a one-man party between 2-4am. You wake up, eat, and then coo and giggle and squirm. I don’t really mind the one-man parties, except I have to chaperone…
Two weeks ago, around your five-month birthday, you got your first teeth! The Squeaker didn’t get her first teeth until 10 months.
You giggle. A lot.
You like to sleep in our bed; your sister’s not a big fan. In fact, you have a habit that your mother has – when you sleep next to me, you get as close as you can. So I scoot over. And you scoot over. And we keep doing this until half of me is hanging off the edge of the bed and you are pressed up against me on the other side.
There are many more, but that’s not the reason for this letter.
At some point in your life, probably some where between the years of 16-18, you are going to say, “I am not related to these people…”
I am here to tell you – you are.
And if there is any question, the photos below should dispel it. The first photo is you at about four months… the second is me at three months.
Starting to notice some resemblances?
Even though you carry the visual stamp of your forefathers, we are not rubberstamps of the other. Just because I succeed or fail at something does not mean you will do the same. Or that you even have to do the same things.
You have a long journey in front of you and it will be filled with up and downs. I am going to try to be there to hold your hand as long as I can.
But, far sooner than I care for, you will have to walk down your own road, either by preference or by necessity. When that time comes, I hope our time together will help you make the right choices.
In the meantime, we’re gonna play games, go places, and do things, all in the name of fun.
And let me pass on one piece of advice… be nice to your sister. I know that right now she’s a little rough on you, but she means well. Very, very soon you are going to out size her (as I write this, you’re and she are both wearing size three diapers!) and you will be able to push her down. But don’t. It only comes back to haunt you.
I Love You,
Your Dad
posted by Rob Barron at 9:49 PM
7 Comments:
Wow, that boy needs a shave!
You are an amazing father and I love peeking into your life; your love for your wife and children is a living, breathing thing even in a place such as this.
And you are right that Atticus is not Doss, and you did not have him so that you would be a father of two. You are a father of three, and so you will always be.
When we were going through the required classes before adopting our daughter (you see, I do know what a gift a child is, though our journeys were painful in such different ways) we were told that one of the things we must relinquish was the phantom, perfect child of our dreams, and love wholeheartedly a child who would be as imperfect as any we could have created. And she is and we do. And I never, ever, look at her and think she should have been someone different; she is meant to be just who she is, and meant to be mine, and I love her all the more for that...just as you love Jorja, and Doss, and Atticus.
Blessings to your sweet family today and always. You are always in my prayers.
Beth
So beautiful! Axe and the Squeaker will really treasure these letters some day. :o)
And Axe's and his friends can say to you (as your friends said to me when bratty, little sister had turned into really hot young woman), "remember all those times you told us we would be sorry we were mean to Tintin...we are sooo sorry!!!"
Golly
...and that's the reason for the advice. I was just coming at it from a different angle so people wouldn't think of me as the chauvinist I really am. :-)
What a beautiful letter. Thanks for sharing it :)
Wow, your baby pictures are so similar, it's amazing :)
How wonderful that he giggles a lot.
He's certainly not Doss Round Two, but his own person. I think Doss is watching over him. Over all of you, really. A special angel.
He and his big sister will get along wonderfully, once they are in separate households, hehe. I didn't appreciate my little brother until he moved to another state.
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