A Conundrum
Have you ever noticed that when someone you know buys a new car, you start seeing that car everywhere? Of course it’s not that there are more of your friend’s type of car on the road, you’re just more in tune with that model. Your brain is sort of “tuned in” to that model, if you will.
The same is true, I think, for babies. People have babies all the time. But the minute you have one of your own – particularly your first one – you suddenly notice them popping up all over.
Since the birth of the twins, the following people have either had a baby or are pregnant - my sister, P.Pie’s sister and brother (not together, of course), my cousin, and at least three sets of our friends. And that’s not including a number of friends of friends or blogosphere friends who have recently added to their baby collection.
As you might imagine, recently our mailbox has been inundated with birth announcements.
And herein lies the conundrum.
You think that everyone knows what happened – particularly with the blog. But inevitably, someone you haven’t seen since before the twins were born asks, “How are the twins?” In fact, it happened less than a month ago and lead to some awkward silence after the explanation.
And I know it will happen again.
But I feel like both Doss & Jorja deserve to have their births commemorated; and what better place than here, where the whole world can see it.
I created the layout a few weeks before their birth, but never plugged in their stats and pictures.
Until today.
The same is true, I think, for babies. People have babies all the time. But the minute you have one of your own – particularly your first one – you suddenly notice them popping up all over.
Since the birth of the twins, the following people have either had a baby or are pregnant - my sister, P.Pie’s sister and brother (not together, of course), my cousin, and at least three sets of our friends. And that’s not including a number of friends of friends or blogosphere friends who have recently added to their baby collection.
As you might imagine, recently our mailbox has been inundated with birth announcements.
And herein lies the conundrum.
You think that everyone knows what happened – particularly with the blog. But inevitably, someone you haven’t seen since before the twins were born asks, “How are the twins?” In fact, it happened less than a month ago and lead to some awkward silence after the explanation.
And I know it will happen again.
But I feel like both Doss & Jorja deserve to have their births commemorated; and what better place than here, where the whole world can see it.
I created the layout a few weeks before their birth, but never plugged in their stats and pictures.
Until today.
posted by Rob Barron at 10:29 PM
7 Comments:
Rob, it's a trap I nearly fell into myself when recently rediscovering your blog.
I'd read and commented a few times when your wife was pregnant, but then lost touch until I came across you again about a month ago. The daft thing is, it took a few days before it dawned on me that you were generally only talking about one baby and only then did I make a point of reading back and finding out what had happened. And discovered that your worst news ever came the day before my best, and I didn't know what to say, so I just kept quiet.
And then I cried.
I find myself often talking to people that should already know about our son's autism and having to remind them when stories like why the kids go to different schools come up.
Same thing with the IVF. People never seem to remember that either.
People always are going to assume the best case scenario unless they absolutely certain they know the facts. Kind of like you would never say congratulations on getting pregnant to a lady just because she was looking a little rounder than usual unless you absolutely knew she was pregnant.
As for people reading your blog knowing, you might change the about tag on the sidebar since your wife is not currently pregnant. Or is she....
So strange..., for whatever reason, you popped in my head today and I was trying to remember Doss' name and I couldn't remember and only knew it started with a 'D' and made a mental note to go back to find it... He is an angel now, but yet still with us.
I love getting occasional peeks into Jorja's life. Thanks for that.
It's absolutely right that their births are both commemorated, and its a beautiful announcement.
May you continue to have the strength to tell their story.
Love the announcement! I, too, am wondering how to handle a conundrum, as our daughter was born with Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome and one of the symptoms is macroglossia. A lot of people just think she's sticking out her tongue, when in reality, it's just too large for her mouth.
I'm needing to get some announcements done and hope to post it on my blog soon. In the meantime, I didn't know your twins were born on my birthday. Pisces... we're a very sensitve bunch, just so you know. So one day, Jorja will have no problem turning on the tears. Consider yourself warned. :-)
Rob - A gorgeous birth announcement.
I agree with your decision about the birth announcement. Each life is important and special, no matter how short. Plus, I know that as your daughter grows up, you will share this with her, so she knows that she has a special connection with someone who is no longer with us. She will thank you someday too.
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