Hello? I’m the New Dad, Need the Info.
But I seemed to have high-centered on an item and I need some advice in order to make the best possible decision.
As we wrap up the pregnancy, making our curtain call as it were, P.Pie and I have been looking at nannies and/or daycare services that handle infants. And I’m feeling like the local idiot at an Algonquin Round Table discussion.
Don’t misunderstand; I can bluster up enough bravado to look like I know what I’m talking about. I’ve written copy for a diverse group of companies about things that I have little or no prior knowledge of.
I can BS like a pro.
You want to engage me in a conversation on the inevitable move from hard drives to flash drive based memory? I read an article in Wired about it last month.
Want to argue the finer points of the global effects of local economics? I read The Atlantic (at the dentist’s office).
What’s the latest haps on CSI? No problem.
The state of lo-fi rock? Sure.
I can muddle my way through lots of things.
But hiring a nanny/daycare for my flesh and blood seems to be out of my sphere of knowledge.
I don’t know where to begin. All I know are the horrible things I see on salacious TV newsrags like Dateline/48 Hours/ 20/20.
nightmares dreams, my nanny interviews go something like this –
“So, Ms. Nanny, I reviewed you’re resume and I see that you recently left your last family.” Of course the nanny recognizes that a) this isn’t a question, and b) I might an idiot.
But if I am an idiot, then I’m a dangerous idiot.
So I change tacks and try to force a confession out of her. “Have you been cleared of the abuse charges?!”
At this point P.Pie takes over the interview process and I continue to babble dialogue from my internal private detective movie in a poor imitation of Woody Allen doing a poor imitation of Humphrey Bogart.
Wisely, they both just ignore me.
Secretly, I think they both feel sorry for the twins.
So it comes down to this – other than asking them if they’ve stopped beating children, I don’t know what else to ask.
Any suggestions? And what’s a fair price for twins – an arm and a leg?