Friday, September 29, 2006

Naming Nomenclature v1.5

The Great American Beer Fest is going on this weekend and I'm headed there tonight. So, since I won't be a frame of mind to blog, I thought I might share some email with you.

This is a short back and forth – one back, one forth – that my father, The Duke, & I had via email and I found it funny (it may also explain why I am so warped).
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I just read yer blog of a coupla days ago on "Names"... and I felt the urge to add this footnote of an historical (and hysterical) nature...

Yer mother and I playfully toyed with the idea of naming you after two names we'd seen while driving around Massachusetts and looking at a map of it's various places... those names came to the fore as we wracked our brains for a suitable moniker for our soon to be born offspring. Those names? Surely you remember! Cuttyhunk and Assinippi. So you do have something for which to be grateful... that we didn't do that to you!

Here are some others that you may wish to consider for your own progeny (from that same Massachusetts map, of course! My guess is they are derived from native American words and names... Aquinnah, Nashaquitsa, Menemsha, Katama, Tuckernuck, Madaket, Siasconset, Wauwinet, Quidnet, Polpis, Monomoy, Nashawena, Nantucker, Sippewisset, Mashpee, Quaiset... this list is indefinite in possibilities and it's length as yet undetermined... but I shall refrain from such continued glee.

All that notwithstanding... your statement that you (in essence) wish to save your children from being the brunt of childish humor and mean-speaking teens and cruel adults is both honorable and worth remembering that we did spare you and your sister such humiliation. As you name your children, remember that self-stated admonition is of your own realization! Yes, anything for a boy but "Sue," indeed... and spare him/her/them odd sounding names that could make others wonder what their parents were doing/drinking/smoking/watching at the time of their birth.

I kinda like George Douglas, for a boy... but then his intials would be G.D. Barron. GD (as in god dammit)Barron? I think not. No can do that to my grandson. But, George Robert Barron has a very masculine sound about it... GR for short, y'know? Or Robert George, "RG, pick up your dirty clothes!" Sounds good to me. And not an unusual or odd name, and not one to incur ridicule by his peers. AND if by chance a boy AND a girl... Georgia Ann... NOW that also has a beautiful and feminine ring to it!
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Okay, that was his thoughts on the naming nomenclature. Here is my response:
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What?!

I could have been Cuttyhunk Barron?!

I love the name Cuttyhunk! Cutty to my family, Hunk to the girls, and 'Sir' to everyone else.

The person with the name Cuttyhunk becomes a person of power - a titan of commerce, a CEO, the President....

You've ruined my life. Thanks.

I like G.D. Barron. As he approaches his twenties, the ladies will ask him what GD stands for and he can say, with a wink, Good D**k. In his early thirties, he can be Gorgeous Dude. Then, as he mellows with age, he can say Grand Diversion. And finally, when he's a crotchy old man, God Damn Barron! I like it.

If we have a girl, it would be Jorja, not Georgia. Maybe Assinippi Barron.

4 Comments:

Blogger creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

Cuttyhunk - Nice!

9/29/2006 4:09 PM  
Blogger Rob Barron said...

I thought so.

9/29/2006 4:14 PM  
Anonymous Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

I think it sounds like both of the writers of these e-mails have already been to the beer fest.

Can I go too?

9/29/2006 5:30 PM  
Anonymous edj said...

go here for some more great ideas, she said drily.

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/index.html

10/17/2006 5:49 PM  

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